Scrutable

Meet the new chair of the Intelligence Committee.

https://www.politicshome.com/news/uk/po ... nson-makes

I can only assume Boris would like a nearby stooge to take the flak away from him at regular intervals.

A journalist pointed out recently that the Chief Medical Officer, Chris Whitty, looks a lot like Chris Grayling. They did also point out that's literally where the similarities end.

They're both called Chris as well.

The Russian influence report could now be completely redacted, except for "Printed by HMSO". How else can he demonstrate his loyalty to Boris?

Blackcountryboy wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 11:42 am

The Russian influence report could now be completely redacted, except for "Printed by HMSO". How else can he demonstrate his loyalty to Boris?

By changing the report to state nothing to see here - presumably in crayon.

Redacting the report is a tacit acceptance of there being influence to hide.

In unrelated news the MOD have been quick to play down to the revelation that an unlocked briefcase containing the nuclear codes was somehow posted to the Russian embassy, gift-wrapped in a map charting the positions and planned patrol routes of all Trafalgar, Astute and Vanguard submarines.

Mrs Grayling made a request to the Captain of HMS Venegance asking if he could check their secure locker for an anorak with the name “Chris” written in marker pen inside the hood and a single red mitten attached to it with string, and an A-Team packed lunch box containing an egg and cress sandwich, a banana Munch Bunch yoghurt and a chocolate Freddo.

To which Chris Grayling broke from his handlers to add “it’s vital that the delicious chocolatey frog is returned to the UK immediately as a matter of national security so immediately head from your current location seven miles SSW and the HMS Queen Elizabeth has been diverted to rendezvous with you 50 miles East of Bear Island.”

It's no dafter than having Nadine Dorries as a "health" minister.

Truly, this is The Government of the Lack of Talents.

murmur wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 1:18 pm

It's no dafter than having Nadine Dorries as a "health" minister.

Truly, this is The Government of the Lack of Talents.

To be fair to Nadine, she was once a nurse, so actually has some experience of health care. The same cannot be said of Grayling and intelligence of any shape or form.

bjn wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 2:20 pm

murmur wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 1:18 pm

It's no dafter than having Nadine Dorries as a "health" minister.

Truly, this is The Government of the Lack of Talents.

To be fair to Nadine, she was once a nurse, so actually has some experience of health care. The same cannot be said of Grayling and intelligence of any shape or form.

A nurse for 3 years between '78 and '81...But seems to have forgotten a lot of it, considering her advocacy of homeopathy among other things, which alone ought to disqualify her from many things.

bjn wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 2:20 pm

murmur wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 1:18 pm

It's no dafter than having Nadine Dorries as a "health" minister.

Truly, this is The Government of the Lack of Talents.

To be fair to Nadine, she was once a nurse, so actually has some experience of health care. The same cannot be said of Grayling and intelligence of any shape or form.

Meanwhile, the Spanish science minister and the Canadian transport minister are both ex-astronauts. Which probably gives some insight into both jobs.

dyqik wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 12, 2020 5:02 am

bjn wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 2:20 pm

murmur wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 1:18 pm

It's no dafter than having Nadine Dorries as a "health" minister.

Truly, this is The Government of the Lack of Talents.

To be fair to Nadine, she was once a nurse, so actually has some experience of health care. The same cannot be said of Grayling and intelligence of any shape or form.

Meanwhile, the Spanish science minister and the Canadian transport minister are both ex-astronauts. Which probably gives some insight into both jobs.

Having astronaut on your CV must open a lot of doors, even for things that are totally irrelevant. It would just be nice having somebody around who's been to space, even if it didn't involve a combination of high-level scientific expertise, military training and personal physical and mental resilience.

Bird on a Fire wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 12, 2020 11:47 am

dyqik wrote: ↑

Thu Mar 12, 2020 5:02 am

bjn wrote: ↑

Wed Mar 11, 2020 2:20 pm

To be fair to Nadine, she was once a nurse, so actually has some experience of health care. The same cannot be said of Grayling and intelligence of any shape or form.

Meanwhile, the Spanish science minister and the Canadian transport minister are both ex-astronauts. Which probably gives some insight into both jobs.

Having astronaut on your CV must open a lot of doors, even for things that are totally irrelevant. It would just be nice having somebody around who's been to space, even if it didn't involve a combination of high-level scientific expertise, military training and personal physical and mental resilience.

It involves a whole lot of work with government agencies and bureaucracy, across a spectrum from the military to government research and admin, to do something that risk-averse governments would probably rather no one did.

Grant Shapps aka (Michael Green and Sebastian Fox) GCSE in CDT, Secretary of State for Transport.

A company has decided that Chris Grayling is, in fact, a very stable genius, and worth paying £100k for working one day a week. He's going to advise Hutchison Ports, who presumably will now go bust within the next two years.

El Pollo Diablo wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 17, 2020 10:44 am

A company has decided that Chris Grayling is, in fact, a very stable genius, and worth paying £100k for working one day a week. He's going to advise Hutchison Ports, who presumably will now go bust within the next two years.

Announcement from Hutchison Ports Board of Directors:-

"We have every confidence that the decision to build deep-water ports in Basel, Geneva, La Paz and Ulan Bator will allow Hutchison Ports to benefit from the boom in international trade.

Furthermore we are very excited by Chris Grayling's suggestion that expanding our operations to the desert-world of Arrakis will reap great rewards; "the profits must flow!"

The opening of the first site on the Habbanya Erg will be celebrated by a three hour performance by a 400-piece steel-drum band and the dance troupe "Stomp!", we are confidently expecting wormsign the likes of which even God himself has never seen!"

In other news Grayling's first attempt to log-in to a Hutchison Ports' Microsoft Teams meeting has resulted in a number of small electrical fires in several major ports across three continents. No casualties reported.

El Pollo Diablo wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 17, 2020 10:44 am

A company has decided that Chris Grayling is, in fact, a very stable genius, and worth paying £100k for working one day a week. He's going to advise Hutchison Ports, who presumably will now go bust within the next two years.

I guess he's advising them on a strategy for promoting other fortified wines

Is he taking a cut in his MP's salary now he's not doing the job full-time ??

Lew Dolby wrote: ↑

Thu Sep 17, 2020 11:28 am

Is he taking a cut in his MP's salary now he's not doing the job full-time ??

TBF a grateful nation should probably give him a bonus.

Muad' Grayling. His name is a killing word.