Femcels and incels

[Tessa K]

I didn't know there was a female version of incels.

No big surprise that we intetnalise and men externalise

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog ... els-differ

[TopBadger]

Who would have thought it would be so hard to find someone to "bump uglies" with?

(I miss Queenie... come back!)

[shpalman]

hoe_math turns out to have some terrible ideas about other things but I think he's got a point regarding this insight into the difference between men and women https://youtube.com/shorts/Wkj0qLvF6rs

I'm slightly reluctant to use the -cel terms because they have connotations beyond their original literal meanings.

[shpalman]

I didn't know there was a female version of incels...

The Woman Who Accidentally Started the Incel Movement

See also https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45284455

Alana abbreviated "involuntarily celibate" to "invcel", until someone suggested that "incel" was easier to say.

"The word [incel] used to mean anybody of any gender who was lonely, had never had sex or who hadn't had a relationship in a long time. But we can't call it that anymore."

[shpalman]

I didn't know there was a female version of incels.

No big surprise that we intetnalise and men externalise

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog ... els-differ

Oh and

... unlike incels, there is little hate or resentment towards men.

That shows up for women who actually attract men. More hoe_math: https://youtu.be/sUUaVQjvSGc

[Tailmange]

Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

[Nero]

Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

Good post and useful post. Welcome to the forum. Thanks.

[Tessa K]

Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

Welcome. What you're describing makes you like other unwillingly single people rather than specifically a male issue. It's really good you recognise that.

[TopBadger]

You can also be involuntary celibate in a loving relationship... being in a relationship is no guarantee of "getting your leg over". Just look at any agony aunt column, no shortage of people who are happily married apart from a lack of physical intimacy.

[shpalman]

You can also be involuntary celibate in a loving relationship... being in a relationship is no guarantee of "getting your leg over". Just look at any agony aunt column, no shortage of people who are happily married apart from a lack of physical intimacy.

I believe this is referred to as "dead bedroom".

It can also happen that the two people can have a mismatch in how often they want to do it, even if it's not zero for one of them.

[shpalman]

Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

Thank you for sharing this. Welcome to the forum.

[Stranger Mouse]

Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

Welcome to the forum!

Yeah. I’ve had plenty of stretches of my life when I’ve been voluntarily celibate and plenty when Ive been involuntarily celibate. I sometimes think it’s unhelpful when those people who we now call incels are mocked for not successfully arranging sexual liaisons when the target should really be their hatred and bile aimed at women.

Nowadays I’m just on tired to bother but that’s probably just age.

[shpalman]

The Guardian had previously mentioned the femosphere but has now decided to call it the womanosphere:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/202 ... tive-women
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfr ... men-ntwnfb

[eliot10]

Yeah, the labels evolved fast, but the loneliness behind both is way more universal than people admit.