ANKARA - President Recep Tayyip Erdogan pulled Turkey out of an international accord designed to protect women, the country's official gazette said Saturday, despite calls from advocates who see the pact as key to combating rising domestic violence.
The Council of Europe accord, forged in Istanbul, pledged to prevent, prosecute and eliminate domestic violence and promote equality. Turkey, which signed the accord in 2011, saw a rise in femicides last year...
Many conservatives in Turkey say the pact undermines family structures, encouraging violence. They are also hostile to the principle of gender equality in the Istanbul Convention and see it as promoting homosexuality, given its principle of non-discrimination on grounds of sexual orientation.
The country is not alone:
Other countries have moved toward ditching the accord. Poland's highest court scrutinized the pact after a cabinet member said Warsaw should quit the treaty, which the nationalist government considers too liberal.
Holy sh.t I went on Twitter today and saw footage (since removed by the account below due its content, but available elsewhere) that turned my stomach. Last Thursday in Stamford Hill, a young Jewish woman, 27 weeks pregnant was stalked by a man at 6.30pm. When she turned down an alley/side street CCTV footage shows him trying to place what looks like a pillowcase over her head before he repeatedly punches her belly. He then ran off with his shopping trolley (what the hell did that contain?).
I wonder how people will analyse her behaviour/dress to try to diminish the behaviour of this man.
Holy sh.t I went on Twitter today and saw footage (since removed by the account below due its content, but available elsewhere) that turned my stomach. Last Thursday in Stamford Hill, a young Jewish woman, 27 weeks pregnant was stalked by a man at 6.30pm. When she turned down an alley/side street CCTV footage shows him trying to place what looks like a pillowcase over her head before he repeatedly punches her belly. He then ran off with his shopping trolley (what the hell did that contain?).
I wonder how people will analyse her behaviour/dress to try to diminish the behaviour of this man.
It has been called one of the most powerful photos of the 20th century and is surely one of the most moving from the Holocaust: a woman and a little girl running uphill from a train that had been liberated by American troops.
My link goes to an article in Haaretz, I believe anyone can read a few articles for free?
Holy sh.t I went on Twitter today and saw footage (since removed by the account below due its content, but available elsewhere) that turned my stomach. Last Thursday in Stamford Hill, a young Jewish woman, 27 weeks pregnant was stalked by a man at 6.30pm. When she turned down an alley/side street CCTV footage shows him trying to place what looks like a pillowcase over her head before he repeatedly punches her belly. He then ran off with his shopping trolley (what the hell did that contain?).
I wonder how people will analyse her behaviour/dress to try to diminish the behaviour of this man.
I've been reminded by the Boulder shooting thread that after our initial outrage and speculation we let the Atlanta shootings slide. I feel this is far more an indictment of the prevalence of violence towards women than any lack of care or concern but having noticed I feel it should be rectified.
Information about the victims has come out. They were: Delaina Ashley Yaun, 33 - a customer receiving a couple's massage with her husband (who survived the shooting unhurt). They were recently married and had a 13 year old son and an 8 month old girl.
Daoyou Feng, 44 - little is known about Ms Feng who only started working at the spa a few months ago.
Xiaojie Tan, 49 - she was murdered a day before her 50th birthday. She came from China and moved to the US in 2006 with her then-husband. She remarried and ran three businesses, including Young's Asian Massage, with her husband.
Hyun Jung Grant, 51 - worked at Gold Spa. She was an elementary school teacher in Korea. She moved to the US for 'regular immigrant reasons' and was a single mother to two sons.
Yong Ae Yue, 63 - a licensed massage therapist who worked at Aromatherapy Spa. She had started working there after being laid off from previous employment due to the pandemic. She had two sons.
Suncha Kim, 69 - worked at Gold Spa. She originally came from Korea, had been married for 50 years and was a grandmother.
Soon Chung Park, 74 - she made food for the employees of Gold Spa. She had lived most of her life in New York and was going to move back when the lease on her apartment ended.
Paul Andre Michels, 54 - unemployed but doing maintenance at Young's Asian Spa on the day of the attack.
It looks like employees at Gold Spa had been arrested for prostitution offences between 2011 and 2014 and the mass murderer had been a customer at both Gold Spa and Aromatherapy Spa, though it's unknown if he sought anything more or whether he was successful if he did. The NY Times article notes that it's unclear whether there's been a change of ownership of the spas since 2014 or whether there's been a continuation of illegal prostitution at these businesses since then.
Of course, whether or not these women also performed sex work is immaterial, they did not deserve to die.
In other news, Capt. Jay Baker, the spokesperson for Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office was replaced by Cherokee County Communications Director Erika Neldner following Baker's comments that the accused had had a "bad day" and that the attack was not racially motivated.
This BBC article has a surprisingly good analysis of the aftermath.
I've been reminded by the Boulder shooting thread that after our initial outrage and speculation we let the Atlanta shootings slide. I feel this is far more an indictment of the prevalence of violence towards women than any lack of care or concern but having noticed I feel it should be rectified...
Of course, whether or not these women also performed sex work is immaterial, they did not deserve to die...
What you write here strongly reminds me of Hugo's introduction to the Miserables:
So long as there shall exist, by virtue of law and custom, decrees of damnation pronounced by society, artificially creating hells amid the civilization of earth ...; so long as the three great problems of the century—the degradation of man through pauperism, the corruption of woman through hunger, the crippling of children through lack of light—are unsolved; so long as social asphyxia is possible in any part of the world;—in other words, and with a still wider significance, so long as ignorance and poverty exist on earth, books of the nature of Les Misérables cannot fail to be of use.
Deep cleaning offices might not do much to prevent the spread of covid but it seems sadly needed in Australia's Parliament, at least if you're a woman.
Oh, and young women who get allegedly raped in Parliament House are a national security risk, so they deserve anything that happens to them. (Nb - for that not following Australian politics closely, the revolting remarks reported below refer to two entirely separate rape allegations centred on the federal government.)
Oh look, he's doing the "I was nice to some women so how on earth could I be nasty to other women?" routine.
Abetz noted on Wednesday he had helped set up a women’s shelter before he entered parliament “and to suggest that I would make light of a rape allegation is horrendous [and] categorically denied by myself”.
A police officer, who worked with vulnerable children, has been sacked after allegations of domestic abuse including strangulation. While I'm pleased to hear that he will no longer be working in a position of authority, I have to wonder why there is no mention of pursuing a criminal case against him.
The police officer who used to come to my primary school every year to do the anti-drugs talks got done for child p.rnography. I don't think he was ever alone with kids but it's not nice to think of his motivations for signing up for that job.
(I was only about 10, so I went in with an open mind to what the grownups were telling us. But I remember he told some story about policing a music festival, and how he'd wait for people he suspected of holding to buy their entrance tickets before nicking them, with a look of glee on his face, and I thought "well that's a bit out of order".)
To be fair, I'm not sure whether the rates of these things are worse than amongst the general population, though obviously you'd hope they'd be better, and there's suggestive evidence of officers' crimes getting covered up. In general though, it does seem like entrusting vulnerable people's safety to a bunch of stressed men, trained to be aggressive and given a lot of power, might not be universally wise.
We have the right to a clean, healthy, sustainable environment.
To be fair, I'm not sure whether the rates of these things are worse than amongst the general population, though obviously you'd hope they'd be better, and there's suggestive evidence of officers' crimes getting covered up.
What we do know is that men who want to sexually abuse children actively seek out positions of authority which will give them access to children and help intimidate the victims into remaining silent. Those men are often highly manipulative and accomplished liars. That will apply to the police as much as it does to teachers, Scout or Guide leaders, care home workers etc
I assume the same applies to men who want to abuse adults.
Whether rates are higher or lower than the rest of the population depends upon how effective is the screening of new recruits and monitoring after people join the organization.
To be fair, I'm not sure whether the rates of these things are worse than amongst the general population, though obviously you'd hope they'd be better, and there's suggestive evidence of officers' crimes getting covered up.
What we do know is that men who want to sexually abuse children actively seek out positions of authority which will give them access to children and help intimidate the victims into remaining silent. Those men are often highly manipulative and accomplished liars. That will apply to the police as much as it does to teachers, Scout or Guide leaders, care home workers etc
I assume the same applies to men who want to abuse adults.
Whether rates are higher or lower than the rest of the population depends upon how effective is the screening of new recruits and monitoring after people join the organization.
I suspect that historically there was also an element of opportunism. Some men who found themselves working in institutions or companies where the abuse of women was seen as a perk of the job and part of the 'culture' would have joined in even if they had no previous history of it. And maybe still do.
This is a fantastic piece. It's about what men can do to make women feel safe. I particularly loved his bit:
How many times have you seen a man become a father and miraculously realise what a terrible place the world can be for a woman? Where was this energy before, when he was gaslighting his girlfriends or catcalling women or messaging “F*** you, bitch. You’re ugly anyway” to a woman who ignored his messages on Tinder? And if it’s “not all men” why are guys so bossy and possessive in the name of “being protective”? It’s almost like they know exactly what other men are capable of, that you never know a man’s true intentions until it’s too late, isn’t it?
Well okay i shall read the piece but honestly, and I do mean honestly, the quote is like someone's triumphantly holding up a mirror to me and the "reflection" is a picture of some stranger.
However much that quote resonates for you and with your experience, it just doesn't for me.
Well okay i shall read the piece but honestly, and I do mean honestly, the quote is like someone's triumphantly holding up a mirror to me and the "reflection" is a picture of some stranger.
However much that quote resonates for you and with your experience, it just doesn't for me.
I mean, the writer is a man for starters, so I doubt it's triumphantly. I personally have seen men do the "as a father of daughters" thing, and I'm not a dude. It's so cliche it's almost a trope.
"I got a flu virus named after me 'cause I kissed a bat on a dare."
Well okay i shall read the piece but honestly, and I do mean honestly, the quote is like someone's triumphantly holding up a mirror to me and the "reflection" is a picture of some stranger.
However much that quote resonates for you and with your experience, it just doesn't for me.
I mean, the writer is a man for starters, so I doubt it's triumphantly. I personally have seen men do the "as a father of daughters" thing, and I'm not a dude. It's so cliche it's almost a trope.
There may be different reasons for it. Men who express solidarity with women will often be assumed to be putting on a performance in order to curry favour. (And not unreasonably, I've heard of some very sh.tty things been done by so called feminist allies).
But speaking up on behalf of a daughter is different. Its a much more acceptable way to express solidarity.
I don't doubt youve seen new fathers suddenly switch but our experiences seem to have come from two different planets which leaves me feeling pretty useless.
The GQ article had a few points that touched on my experience; I can remember being given a sheet of dos and don'ts as a new student which included not walking behind women at night and, yes, I can remember thinking that was ridiculous and surely way over the top. (Who could I ever intimidate? I was more concerned that I'd get beaten up.) And of course I came to appreciate I had been utterly unaware of women's reality.
And of course I came to appreciate I had been utterly unaware of women's reality.
Just my experience for a bit then a point, I promise.
Different men come to this realisation at different times. For my Dad, losing his Dad at 11 was the catalyst. He saw his Mum get by as a single parent on a wage of 1/10th of eff all and I think it was just obvious that women are absolutely as human as men. He has always treated me as just (if not more) capable than my brother and has taught my brother about protecting women very well. However, I know both of them during their teens and early twenties have definitely been creeps to women. My Dad through stories he told and my brother by just being next to him in bars while he was trying to chat up girls (oh the cringe, ladies and gentlemen, the cringe) and he did not appreciate my taking him to one side and offering pointers - he was, after all, about 18 and pissed.
In my own experience of young men around me as I was growing up a latchkey kid the greatest danger is between ages 13-15, it is a rare young man at that age who has any idea how to behave around girls or has any innate or taught restraint when it comes to sexual ambitions. I am certain nobody in this forum has behaved like this themselves, I'm sure you were all those rare young men to be quite frank.
I've agonised over it and I'm not ready to make my full experience in this area public because it's 1: a bit overwhelming 2: personal and 3: probably so extreme you'd think I was making some of it up. I'm not even sure which things I want to share so I'll just tell a couple of stories from when I was about 12 or 13. Anything after that is worse. Also, I feel like I need to spoiler this next bit and I am totally procrastinating.
The following is a girl's reality circa 1996-1999. God I hope things have changed but I suspect strongly it's even worse now.
Spoiler:
My parents split when I was 11. My Mum moved her boyfriend in 2 weeks after my Dad moved out. He earned half what my Dad does and Mum had to go full-time at work. We moved to a new house in a less nice area.
In the less nice area, we'll call it Hell because it was, and is. It's an area reasonably famous for being a shithole within a wider shithole but we lived in the private houses on an estate surrounded by council estates. I made some friends by starting smoking age 12. Anyway, the main MO for an evening started with getting on your best tracksuit and getting your makeup right, then you'd meet up with a bunch of other betracksuited young ladies and wander towards the shops in the hope of finding somebody who would go in the shop for you to buy some fags and/or some booze (20/20 was the choice at the time. Had some since, f.ck me it's lethal!) Then we would wander around the lake in the centre of the conurbation. Our side of the lake was reasonably nice but the other side was quite uniquely sh.t.
Obviously most of the youth knocked about together in fragmented little gangs doing nothing much at all except smoke, drink a bit, talk teenage rubbish and attempt to "get off" with people. That last bit is where the trouble starts because a lot of these kids are from workless homes with no supervision, in some cases abusive while having a lot of hormones and nothing to lose. Here's a couple of occasions where I might well have brought it on myself and I make no excuses for that, I was also 12 and living with no supervision, a lot of hormones and nothing (I thought) to lose.
I'm not sure which way round all of this went, large amounts of this period are locked out of my memory - probably for good reason and I don't fancy poking about back there).
On one occasion I was walking from one friend's area to another via the least dangerous route. This was a cut with a beck and dark woods one side and the ends of cul-de-sacs on the other. I can't remember what I was wearing but it was probably a tracksuit because I was trying to fit in at the time. I definitely did not have flesh on show but I will have been wearing makeup. My hair was probably just down and fairly untidy. I obviously do need to make this point, don't I? *sigh* I was about 13 at most. I didn't even have proper boobs yet. A young man, too dark to see his face, dressed in a dark tracksuit darts out ofthe woods and drags me in. I'm scared. I sit down with him on the bench in total darkness. Like "OK, you grabbed me, what do you want?" There was a bit of small talk and his mate turned up and they basically tried it on, I kicked up a fuss and they just let me go. Thank f.ck!
At around the same time I had my first kiss on a bench overlooking the lake with a boy called Barry who kissed like a washing machine on a self-clean cycle. It was memorably sh.t. My so-called friends tried to press-gang me into losing my virginity with him, they even went so far as to bar us in a room together. It did not happen. Thank f.ck.
Oh, just remembered a really weird one. I have to introduce you to K. K was a young lady my age who taught me how to smoke when I was 12. She wore a pink Kappa tracksuit most of the time and had a coke can fringe. One time we were in town and she asked a man for a light for her cigarette. He must have been a tac smoker cos the flame was right up and it set her fringe on fire.
Anyway, one late evening me and K were at the top end of town where there's quite a few dark alleys and young men often hung about in them. We were walking by and someone shouted K, so she popped off into this dark alley, then dragged me along with her. The two young men were... handsy and presumptuous so K and I fell out. I had to walk home on my own.
At that age, other girls can be as much your enemy as young men can be. I think we're best off teaching in a very explicit way how to deal with attempts at manipulation - no matter who they're coming from.
I've deliberately stayed away from my experiences of out-and-out sexual assault and/or harrassment because the point I'm trying to make is that *that* is a very common experience for young women - now with added sexting and naked selfies. And that these things aren't just done and condoned by some men, in many cases it can only happen with the complicity, however naive, of some women.
I don't doubt youve seen new fathers suddenly switch but our experiences seem to have come from two different planets which leaves me feeling pretty useless.
The GQ article had a few points that touched on my experience; I can remember being given a sheet of dos and don'ts as a new student which included not walking behind women at night and, yes, I can remember thinking that was ridiculous and surely way over the top. (Who could I ever intimidate? I was more concerned that I'd get beaten up.) And of course I came to appreciate I had been utterly unaware of women's reality.
ok, I feel like we're coming at it from very different points then. I read it and thought, huh, this is interesting. Fishnut clearly felt similarly, and then highlighted a particular quote she liked. But that doesn't mean that we're expecting every individual man on this forum to have experienced all things in the article. Sometimes things are shared because they are interesting? Or might have something that makes you think, I dunno.
"I got a flu virus named after me 'cause I kissed a bat on a dare."