Scrutable

Thank god we've got Robert Jenrick*

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/20 ... s-minister

Tl;dr version.

1. Cummings acted completely within the guidelines
2. Everybody else could have acted like Cummings and would have been within the guidelines.
3. No we will not be reviewing the fines of the people who did act like Cummings because they were clearly in breach of the guidelines.
4. Can we all just move on now and get back to the important work of self-congratulating ourselves at how amazingly successful Cummings herd immunity strategy has been at getting rid of 60,000 useless eaters and trashing the economy.

See it has all cleared up now.
















*said nobody, ever.

Little waster wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 9:44 am Thank god we've got Robert Jenrick*

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/20 ... s-minister

Tl;dr version.

1. Cummings acted completely within the guidelines
2. Everybody else could have acted like Cummings and would have been within the guidelines.
3. No we will not be reviewing the fines of the people who did act like Cummings because they were clearly in breach of the guidelines.
4. Can we all just move on now and get back to the important work of self-congratulating ourselves at how amazingly successful Cummings herd immunity strategy has been at getting rid of 60,000 useless eaters and trashing the economy.

See it has all cleared up now.


*said nobody, ever.

Agubmint Spokesbot wrote:Cummings lied and so would have anybody else in that situation.
Now can we get on?

On point.

I'm slightly (only slightly) amazed by the amount of people posting things along the lines of "leave Cummings alone", "you/the media are just bullying him" even in the face of the ridiculous excuses, but what really gets me is that there are people who have sent death threats to some of those bishops who criticised Cummings and Johnson's defence of him:

“Keep out of politics or we will kill you”

headshot wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 11:22 am On point.

9C909481-B293-4EE7-93DE-142EC6D084E2.jpeg

That needs to be on billboards

FlammableFlower wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 11:50 am I'm slightly (only slightly) amazed by the amount of people posting things along the lines of "leave Cummings alone", "you/the media are just bullying him" even in the face of the ridiculous excuses, but what really gets me is that there are people who have sent death threats to some of those bishops who criticised Cummings and Johnson's defence of him:

“Keep out of politics or we will kill you”

The irony being these are the same people who are citing the one billboard carrying protester and the neighbour who shouted at him to resign (both in May) as evidence of how much "danger" Cummings was in at start of April.

A twitter thread to take your urine temperature to vaporisation point.

https://twitter.com/RussInCheshire/stat ... 9449777160

Little waster wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 5:04 pm A twitter thread to take your urine temperature to vaporisation point.

https://twitter.com/RussInCheshire/stat ... 9449777160

Certainly will. He claimed that Dominic was in Dunham! That’s just down the road from me, not very close to Durham.
#focusingontheimportantthings

Yikes https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2020/ ... gs-remarks

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:00 pm Yikes https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2020/ ... gs-remarks

How much are channel 4 going to offer for maitlis now eh

I think if you were DC, they’d come to you.

Little waster wrote: Tue May 26, 2020 9:12 pm

Bird on a Fire wrote: Tue May 26, 2020 7:12 pm

Little waster wrote: Tue May 26, 2020 7:05 pm

I assume I'm missing half the story here but Shirley if Cummings was even vaguely aware that GSK are in Barney he wouldn't have bothered with the patently fabricated eye test nonsense and instead would have went with the "I was on very important, confidential, gubmint anti-covid business" line.

Bold of you to assume it'd all be above board and un-dodgy.

Oh it could be dodgier than a Durham kebab but would still allow Cummings the pretence of a legitimate visit on behalf of the government with a lot more plausibility than the current nonsense.

As a conspiracy theory though it falls down on a number of levels; why would the conspiracy require a F2F with Cummings, why the need to visit the Barnard Castle site in person rather than any other GSK site ... or government site ... or random lay-by on the A19, why take his wife and kid.

Occam’s Razor slices and slices leaving the straightforward answer the most plausible; he went there on a jolly for his wife’s birthday and then lied about it. That the lie is the most feeble-minded lie imaginable just reveals his contempt for us and his Trumpian narcissism; his bafflingly unshakeable self-belief that he is actually some sort of era-defining genius and that everyone else is a dribbling moron incapable of seeing through his toddler-level fabrications or having the guts to call him out on his b.llsh.t.

As the other, equally lamentable, DC said the guy’s a f.cking sociopath.

Exactly, and I see that Craig Murray is onto the conspiracy theory side. Which doesn't lend it any more credence.

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:37 pm

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:00 pm Yikes https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2020/ ... gs-remarks

How much are channel 4 going to offer for maitlis now eh

It's an absurd situation where simply telling the truth is deemed to be absurdly partisan. There's no question that Cummings broke the rules. It's an abrogation of journalistic duty to pretend there's some doubt.

No wonder the establishment can get away with constant lying and naked corruption when journalistic institutions apparently treat reality as subjective, and that subjectivity as inherently politically partisan.

Bird on a Fire wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 8:44 pm

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:37 pm

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:00 pm Yikes https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2020/ ... gs-remarks

How much are channel 4 going to offer for maitlis now eh

It's an absurd situation where simply telling the truth is deemed to be absurdly partisan. There's no question that Cummings broke the rules. It's an abrogation of journalistic duty to pretend there's some doubt.

No wonder the establishment can get away with constant lying and naked corruption when journalistic institutions apparently treat reality as subjective, and that subjectivity as inherently politically partisan.

His get out is the guidelines say that where children are concerned, the guidance should be followed as far as possible.

It doesn't alter the astonishing fact that a political person doesn't see how a simple nearly-apology would have diffused a lot of the situation

Trinucleus wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 9:12 pm

Bird on a Fire wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 8:44 pm

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:37 pm

How much are channel 4 going to offer for maitlis now eh

It's an absurd situation where simply telling the truth is deemed to be absurdly partisan. There's no question that Cummings broke the rules. It's an abrogation of journalistic duty to pretend there's some doubt.

No wonder the establishment can get away with constant lying and naked corruption when journalistic institutions apparently treat reality as subjective, and that subjectivity as inherently politically partisan.

His get out is the guidelines say that where children are concerned, the guidance should be followed as far as possible.

That doesn't cover the extra trip to Barnyard Castle, though? Getting your eyes tested might be a valid reason to leave the house but I don't think that's a valid way to do it.

Bird on a Fire wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 8:44 pm

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:37 pm

discovolante wrote: Wed May 27, 2020 7:00 pm Yikes https://amp.theguardian.com/media/2020/ ... gs-remarks

How much are channel 4 going to offer for maitlis now eh

It's an absurd situation where simply telling the truth is deemed to be absurdly partisan. There's no question that Cummings broke the rules. It's an abrogation of journalistic duty to pretend there's some doubt.

No wonder the establishment can get away with constant lying and naked corruption when journalistic institutions apparently treat reality as subjective, and that subjectivity as inherently politically partisan.

OK according to Emily Maitlis she asked for the night off. Which seems odd given the timing but it's possible some personal stuff came up unexpectedly. Not really sure what to make of it tbh but as it came direct from her...eta unless she was rattled by the BBC's decision.

Since we're discussing the Cummings stuff here, I can't be the only person bothered that the f.cking attorney general declared someone's behaviour to be fine without even waiting for the investigation, right? I mean, rule of law isn't just not punishing people arbitrarily, it's not clearing people arbitrarily either.

EACLucifer wrote: Thu May 28, 2020 8:12 am Since we're discussing the Cummings stuff here, I can't be the only person bothered that the f.cking attorney general declared someone's behaviour to be fine without even waiting for the investigation, right? I mean, rule of law isn't just not punishing people arbitrarily, it's not clearing people arbitrarily either.

The Secret Barrister, Jo Maugham and David Allen Green have all expressed their very negative views on this on Twitter.

EACLucifer wrote: Thu May 28, 2020 8:12 am Since we're discussing the Cummings stuff here, I can't be the only person bothered that the f.cking attorney general declared someone's behaviour to be fine without even waiting for the investigation, right? I mean, rule of law isn't just not punishing people arbitrarily, it's not clearing people arbitrarily either.

No it's not just you.

I could do a split thread for the Cummings stuff maybe? I er, need to get on with some work for a little while at least but can do it some time today.

EACLucifer wrote: Thu May 28, 2020 8:12 am Since we're discussing the Cummings stuff here, I can't be the only person bothered that the f.cking attorney general declared someone's behaviour to be fine without even waiting for the investigation, right? I mean, rule of law isn't just not punishing people arbitrarily, it's not clearing people arbitrarily either.

And I don't think that's even within her remit is it?
Shouldn't she be offering HMG advice on whether executive decisions or proposed policy would be legal, rather than deciding whether a SPAD acteing in a private capacity broke the law.
If Cummings was accused of shoplifting would she weigh in then?

tom p wrote: Thu May 28, 2020 9:19 am If Cummings was accused of shoplifting would she weigh in then?

I think we should all just move on from these false suggestions that Cummings walked out of an off-licence with an expensive bottle of whisky without paying for it.

He has been very clear the reason that he couldn't pay for the bottle is because, as a concerned father, his instinct was to return to the car as soon as he could as he had left his 4-year old locked inside it on a very hot day with the windows shut. And I think, as a father, we can all relate to that.

Also explained is that this extreme heat induced a terrible thirst in poor Dom forcing him to drink the whole bottle on the spot. This put him in an understandably difficult position as an overly-rigid interpretation of the guidelines would suggest that you shouldn't drive your car after having drank a full bottle of spirits however Paw Patrol was about to start and the dear little cherub just loves watching the adventures of Rubble and Co. The four-year old also quite likes the show too.

So as a caring father Dom had to make the difficult decision to drive home despite the completely false allegation that he was "smashed out his napper". To help sober himself up Cummings then snorted a couple lines of coke off the bonnet. As Gove glassily-eyed attested this morning snorting Class A drugs when you feel a little low-energy is a perfectly legitimate and reasonable thing to do as a father who can't stop rubbing his face.

Then to be extra cautious Cummings decided to see if he was too drunk to drive by doing a short 30 minute journey to the Barnard Castle Kebab shop. On arriving at the kebab shop he discussed his potential drunkenness for 15 minutes with the kebab shop owner while eating a Donner with chilli sauce and chips and then assessed his hand-eye co-ordination by glassing some old biddy who looked at him funny outside the Bluebell. Having decided that he was in fact still too drunk to drive he made the wise decision to drive the 30 miles back to his house at which point his symptoms worsened causing him to vomit in the dishwasher and then "lie doggo" on the kitchen table for several days, as a father.

He has apologised for the distress the media reporting of these facts may have caused and believes the people who should really apologise are the fuckwits who made the shoplifting and drink-driving guidelines so vague ... oh and that tw.t who put all those bus-shelters on the pavements outside Barnard Castle where anybody could hit them.

A day old and done the rounds, and sorry I can't find a transcript but here's David Alan Green of the FT's parsing of Cummings' statement, as clearly a witness statement drafted by lawyers for a purpose. Not paywalled and a few mins of it gives the idea, worth a listen.

what? You want the link as well?

https://www.ft.com/video/e82b5a00-3ad5- ... 14942aa5b1

<Applause>

Very good.