Scrutable

Tessa K wrote: Thu May 01, 2025 10:23 am I didn't know there was a female version of incels...

Alana abbreviated "involuntarily celibate" to "invcel", until someone suggested that "incel" was easier to say.

"The word [incel] used to mean anybody of any gender who was lonely, had never had sex or who hadn't had a relationship in a long time. But we can't call it that anymore."

Tessa K wrote: Thu May 01, 2025 10:23 am I didn't know there was a female version of incels.

No big surprise that we intetnalise and men externalise

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog ... els-differ

... unlike incels, there is little hate or resentment towards men.

Tailmange wrote: Mon May 05, 2025 3:04 pm Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

Tailmange wrote: Mon May 05, 2025 3:04 pm Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

TopBadger wrote: Tue May 06, 2025 9:17 am You can also be involuntary celibate in a loving relationship... being in a relationship is no guarantee of "getting your leg over". Just look at any agony aunt column, no shortage of people who are happily married apart from a lack of physical intimacy.

Tailmange wrote: Mon May 05, 2025 3:04 pm Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.

Tailmange wrote: Mon May 05, 2025 3:04 pm Longtime lurker here. I at one time would have classified myself as an incel, but only in purely literal terms. I'm male.

Luckily I've always recognised that the problem lies with myself rather than women or society, or anything like that. But despite having an active social life, and trying my best to be respectful to everyone, I've always been single and largely sexless even though I don't want to be. I'm in my early 40s and currently trying therapy to try and see if it's fixable.

Yes, some people find it hard to find others to bump uglies with. I don't really know why, in my case. I can say that for myself it's felt like a form of mental torture which has been going on for my entire adult life, and it doesn't show any sign of ending.

Sorry if I've hijacked the thread in any way, but I think it is at least possible to be a man who struggles with being alone and who isn't also a misogynistic hateful monster. That's all I wanted to say.