General Election 2019

[Fishnut]

Great to see you here, Fishnut. Used to love reading your posts in the other place.

Thank you That's very kind of you to say

[Little waster]

The Tory leaflet finally turned up.

The candidate lives in Westminster and according to Companies House always has, he also has a name along the lines of Cecil Ponsonby EatthePoore-Smythe.

Understandably he's chosen to call himself Cecil Smythe and includes three pictures of himself standing next to recognisably local things to prove he has once visited the area. The problem being on the only apparent occasion he's ever been in the area (down to wearing the exact same outfit in each photo) it was pissing it down with rain so he's standing there soaking wet, looking miserable as f.ck pointing with clear disgust at the horrific display of deindustrialised urban neglect that is our home. Obviously the area wasn't worth a second visit, or even a second day, to try and get a better picture*. That bodes well.

The actual content of the leaflet leans heavily on the Non-Sequitur School of Political Thought "Get Brexit Done and ...".

According to the leaflet the non-doneness of Brexit is responsible for knife crime, cancer and the lack of apprenticeships. Now for argument's sake lets concede that, then shirley if the last three years of paralysis are due to Cameron pandering to the monomaniacal obsession of his own swivel-eyed brigade thats all the more reason to kick the sad f.ckers out.

It also includes the particularly tin-eared attempt at pandering that the incompleteness of Brexit is currently responsible for the problems at "Newcastle United FC" (as no-one local has ever called NUFC). There is probably a joke in there about trying to replace a skilled Spanish professional with a low-skilled dipstick from Sunderland. I'm surprised he didn't also advocate tariff-free flat-caps and and an end to whippet-related red tape.

So pretty piss poor allanarl. The area was 56% Leave and is probably on a CCHQ wishlist somewhere, although hopefuly the Brexit Party will split the c.nt vote.

*TBF he could be waiting 6 months around here for a sunny day

[lpm]

12 LibDem leaflets. Including a hand-written one, one designed to look like a Christmas card and one from a mental health doctor.

This is a safe Conservative seat, but in strong Remain territory. Do the LibDems know something we don't? No, they're just wasting paper.

[El Pollo Diablo]

Maybe post it to a random address in a contestable seat?

[Brightonian]

Forecast for Thursday: rain, which is traditionally good for the Tories.

[lpm]

Conservatives vote on Friday, when the weather is better.




Oh forgot we're not allowed to joke about disenfranchising voters

[El Pollo Diablo]

You are allowed to joke about it. I f.cking am.

[Bird on a Fire]

Could be worse:

(From Reddit, appears genuine)

[GeenDienst]

I'm voting for Lorem Ipsum this time.

[El Pollo Diablo]

Final polls should be in tomorrow. In June 2017, the spread of final polls was this, with the actual poll result on the bottom line:

Code: Select all

					C	L	LD	U	G	Lead(%)
Panelbase/		2017-06-07	44	36	7	5	2	8
Kantar/			2017-06-07	43	38	7	4	2	5
ICM/Guardian		2017-06-07	46	34	7	5	2	12
YouGov/Times		2017-06-07	42	35	10	5	2	7
ComRes/Independent	2017-06-07	44	34	9	5	2	10
Survation/		2017-06-07	41	40	8	2	2	1
BMG/Herald		2017-06-07	46	33	8	5	3	13
Ipsos-MORI/Eve. Std.	2017-06-07	44	36	7	4	2	8
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________
Actual Result		2017-06-08	42.3	40	7.4	1.8	1.6	2.3

It'll be interesting to see what the spread looks like tomorrow.

[lpm]

It'll be interesting to see how many morons will assume errors only go one way.

[Bird on a Fire]

2017 was so long ago I've forgotten all the conversations we had back then. What was the explanation for under-predicting Labour's vote share (which appears systematic) as opposed to the usual expected "shy c.nt" effect?

Was it under-weighting the youth vote? Is Corbyn now more embarrassing than the nasty party? Some other third thing?

[dyqik]

2017 was so long ago I've forgotten all the conversations we had back then. What was the explanation for under-predicting Labour's vote share (which appears systematic) as opposed to the usual expected "shy c.nt" effect?

Was it under-weighting the youth vote? Is Corbyn now more embarrassing than the nasty party? Some other third thing?

A mixture of underweighting the youth vote, and not picking up the UKIP/Labour voters who didn't stick with UKIP for the GE looks plausible from the data just up there.

[GeenDienst]

If it's true about the thousands and thousands of late, young voter registrations, the youth vote could be impossible to deal with properly this time. Assuming the lazy young f.ckers get out and vote.

We're all waiting, of course for the Lord High Curtice to pass down his tablets of stone at 22:00 on Thursdee night.

Anticipated bedtime: 22:01.

[Bird on a Fire]

I'm coming back to the UK for Christmas on the 17th. I hope the riots don't disrupt my travel plans.

[Martin Y]

I'm coming back to the UK for Christmas on the 17th. I hope the riots don't disrupt my travel plans.

The re-educated border guards will be exercising the Will of the People by then, so answer their questions carefully if you want to get back in. Just think "What would Aaron Banks say?" and you'll be fine.

[GeenDienst]

I think it takes longer than that to grow an army of orcs?

[lpm]

It needed:

1) Bad campaign by Johnson - partially happened, he went into it weak from his autumn f.ck-ups. Although never strong, he was never too bad

2) Great campaign by Corbyn - didn't happen, was noticeably worse than 2017 with a sh.t manifesto

3) Brutal attacks on Johnson by Farage - didn't happen, it's clear he's been ordered/paid to deliver interference vs Labour to guarantee Conservative victory

4) Great performance by LibDems - didn't happen

5) Scotland wipe out of Tories - unknown but looks unlikely

6) High turnout by young people - unknown

7) High levels of tactical voting - unknown

[Martin Y]

I think it takes longer than that to grow an army of orcs?

Spoons has been around for 40 years. You think they've been idle?

[GeenDienst]

I think it takes longer than that to grow an army of orcs?

Spoons has been around for 40 years. You think they've been idle?

f.ck.

[P.J. Denyer]

I'm coming back to the UK for Christmas on the 17th. I hope the riots don't disrupt my travel plans.

With an election this contentious the tutting will be deafening. Whoever wins.

[P.J. Denyer]

I'm coming back to the UK for Christmas on the 17th. I hope the riots don't disrupt my travel plans.

The re-educated border guards will be exercising the Will of the People by then, so answer their questions carefully if you want to get back in. Just think "What would Aaron Banks say?" and you'll be fine.

Just yell "Heil Cummings!" and make like Peter Sellers in Dr Strangelove and you'll be fine.

[P.J. Denyer]

I think it takes longer than that to grow an army of orcs?

Lord Syferboris ordered his Clone Army some years ago in preparation.

[El Pollo Diablo]

Realistically, it's unlikely the polls will be as wrong in the same direction twice. But there's still a small chance, and if it happens and there's another hung parliament, I'll rupture my spleen from laughing too hard.

[discovolante]

Conservatives vote on Friday, when the weather is better.




Oh forgot we're not allowed to joke about disenfranchising voters

Yeah that's exactly what I meant